Overcoming Addiction: What Am I Holding Onto?
by Michael Walsh
The journey to sobriety often feels like a battle against substance use itself. However, the most challenging aspect often lies within: the internal resistance, the clinging to something that ultimately brings pain and suffering. The question "What am I holding onto?" becomes the pivotal point in this internal struggle.
We hold onto alcohol and drugs for a myriad of reasons, often unconscious and deeply ingrained. These reasons can be complex and intertwined, but they often boil down to a fear of:
- Loneliness: Alcohol and drugs can create a false sense of connection, temporarily easing feelings of isolation and disconnection. We fear facing the loneliness that might arise in their absence.
- Boredom: Substance use can provide a temporary escape from the monotony of daily life, offering a thrill or excitement that feels lacking otherwise. We fear a life perceived as dull and uninteresting.
- Pain: Whether it's emotional, physical, or psychological pain, substances offer a temporary reprieve, numbing the discomfort and allowing us to avoid confronting difficult emotions. We fear facing the pain that lies beneath.
- Loss of Control: The act of giving up something we've used to cope with life can feel like a surrender, a loss of control over our own lives. We fear the unknown, the uncertainty of navigating life without our usual coping mechanisms.
- Identity: For some, substance use becomes intertwined with their identity. They define themselves as a "party person" or someone who "enjoys a good time," and giving up substances feels like losing a part of themselves.
These fears, however deeply ingrained, are often illusions.
- True connection: Authentic connection comes from genuine human interaction, vulnerability, and shared experiences. It requires effort and courage, but it is far more fulfilling than the fleeting, superficial connections forged under the influence of substances.
- A fulfilling life: Sobriety opens the door to a richer, more vibrant life. It allows us to rediscover our passions, pursue our interests, and cultivate meaningful relationships.
- Healing and growth: Confronting the underlying pain is crucial for lasting recovery. It's an opportunity for personal growth, self-discovery, and building resilience.
- Empowerment: Sobriety is an act of empowerment. It's about taking back control of your life, making conscious choices, and living authentically.
- A new identity: Your identity is not defined by your substance use. It's about your values, your passions, your relationships, and the unique contributions you make to the world.
The journey to sobriety is not about deprivation; it's about liberation. It's about shedding the heavy burden of addiction and embracing a life of freedom, authenticity, and joy.
Here are some practices that can help you identify and address what you're holding onto:
- Journaling: Regularly journaling can help you identify your thoughts, feelings, and underlying fears.
- Therapy: Working with a therapist can provide a safe and supportive space to explore your motivations for using and develop coping mechanisms for dealing with difficult emotions.
- Support Groups: Connecting with others in recovery through support groups can provide valuable insights and encouragement.
- Mindfulness Practices: Practices like meditation and yoga can help you become more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations, allowing you to identify and address your underlying needs.
- Recovery Coaching: (a.k.a. Sober Coaching) is different than therapy and can be utilized on its own or in combination with therapy. Recovery Coaching is forward thinking and focuses on setting clear goals and developing practical and functional approaches to change with built in accountability measures with the person you work with. Here is a great article depicting the difference between Recovery Coaching and Therapy.
Letting go is not easy. It requires courage, patience, and self-compassion. But by acknowledging what you're holding onto and addressing the underlying fears, you can begin to break free from the grip of addiction and embrace a life of true freedom and fulfillment.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. If you are struggling with addiction, please seek professional help from a qualified healthcare provider or addiction specialist.
This article aims to provide a general understanding of the concept of "what am I holding onto" in the context of addiction recovery. It's important to remember that everyone's journey is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach.
Get Help Creating Your Personal Roadmap
It can be really scary to arrive at the realization that you have a drinking problem, no matter how big or small.
But it’s a lot less scary when you have an experienced guide to help you sort things out.
I’m an accredited Addiction Recovery Coach offering worldwide virtual support, and in-person support across Canada. If you’re interested in exploring 1:1 recovery coaching to help you cut back your drinking or stop drinking entirely, I’m happy to answer your questions. Is Recovery Coaching for you?
I offer a no-charge consult call to anyone who has questions about their own substance use, or the substance use of a family member. These calls are completely confidential with no pressure to make a decision before you feel entirely ready.
I’d also like to invite you to read more about my personal story here.
Michael Walsh
Phone or Text: 250.896.8494
Email: Coach@MichaelWalsh.com
Chat: Start a WhatsApp chat
About the Author
Michael Walsh
When I say I’ve been there, I mean it. I am a different person now, and I am fired up about helping other people get to the place where they, too, are living better, healthier, and bigger lives.
