The Ultimate Sober Toolkit: How to Build a Sober Toolkit to Help Manage Early Sobriety

Whether you’re newly sober or simply experimenting with cutting back, you’ve probably noticed something about being sober – your feelings and emotions are way more intense without your trusty substance of choice to take the edge off.

Welcome to the wild ride of early sobriety!

BUT, I have some good news.

There are a growing number of excellent sober tools that can help smooth out your ride in early sobriety.

First though — let’s take a moment to think about where you’ve been using substances to cope with challenging emotions and difficult situations.

We often don’t even realize how dependent we’ve become on substances until we take a break or choose to quit. We live in a society that has essentially normalized drugs and alcohol as acceptable coping mechanisms.

And the truth is, many of us were never taught how to manage our feelings in the first place. It’s not uncommon to have grown up in a home where you learned to suppress your emotions in order to avoid punishment or negative consequences. Oftentimes in adulthood we turn to drugs/alcohol to continue this pattern of suppression.

Chances are you can relate to at least a couple of these examples.

• Drinking/using to de-stress after work
• Drinking/using at a social event to ease your nerves
• Drinking/using when alone to dampen the feeling of loneliness
• Drinking/using to occupy your time and lessen the feeling of boredom
• Drinking/using after a breakup, death or divorce to help numb the pain

So, how can we take better care of ourselves?

Let’s dive in and talk about sober tools.

What are sober tools?

A sober tool is anything you can use to shift your state of being into a more manageable state of being.

Sober tools can be little things like your favorite snacks and non-alcoholic beverages, or much bigger things like therapy and sober coaching.

The idea is to familiarize yourself with new tools that help you cope in areas where you were previously using drugs/alcohol, and to fill your life with these new practices. The more sober tools you can layer into your life, the more supported you’re going to feel.

It’s important to note that some sober tools are going to be healthier than others. It’s about forward progress in the right direction – away from drugs and alcohol. So if you need a Coke every morning, or some Doritos here and there, don’t beat yourself up too much.

The name of the game is progress, not perfection.

Who Can Benefit From Sober Tools?

Sober tools are effective at pretty much every step of the way in your recovery journey.

• Cutting-Back: If you’re still drinking, sober tools help ease the transition as you gradually cut back more and more. Adding in these tools before you quit allows your brain to adjust to new ways of self-soothing, balancing, and managing before entirely removing your old coping mechanisms.
  
  
• Newly Sober: If you’re in the early stages of sobriety, sober tools are going to strengthen your resolve and resiliency as you continue forward with your first sober birthday, holiday season, date, interview, etc…
  
  
• Sober Superstar: If you’re well into your sobriety journey, sober tools can help you master your emotional states and self-management abilities.

Your sober toolbox will evolve alongside your recovery, and serve to help you with things well beyond your drug/alcohol cravings, like depression, anxiety, and anything else life might throw your way.

Sober Tools to Get You Started

Some sober tools are going to appeal more to women than men, and vice versa. Keep in mind that these are just suggestions to get your wheels turning. Here is a great evidence-based tool called the Recovery Capital Scale Worksheet my colleague Rochelle modified from the original version developed by Robert Granfield and William Cloud found at William White Papers. The Recovery Capital Scale provides a "high-level overview" of where you're currently at in your life and what might needing shoring up as you moved forward in your journey.

Start with whatever feels most achievable, and continue layering on new tools as you go.

Creative Outlets

As you reconnect with yourself in sobriety, it’s helpful to find ways to express your emotions and experiences. Our thoughts can be loud, and we need a place to funnel them when things start to feel overwhelming.

• Writing & Journaling: Grab a journal and write down whatever comes to mind, regardless of whether it makes any sense. This process allows you to clear your mind of stressful or stagnant energy, and opens the pathway for calmness and clarity.
  
  
• Music Lessons: Have you always wanted to take up guitar, keyboard or electric drums? Now is the perfect time to start! Online self-paced courses are great because you can dive into them from anywhere, whenever you feel antsy or bored.
  
  
• Art & Hobbies: Art of any kind is great for self expression, and learning a new skill helps keep your mind occupied. Maybe you’ve always been curious about woodworking, glass blowing or pottery. Look online to see if you can find an in-person class in your area so you can connect with others in a sober environment.

Sobriety Podcasts

Podcasts are great sober tools for a number of reasons, and there are some fantastic ones all about sobriety. They make you laugh. They provide motivation. And they teach you new things which ultimately keeps you engaged in recovery. Test out a number of different shows until you find a few you really like.

Blood Pumping Movement

Anything that gets your blood pumping in early sobriety is great to help you de-stress. The same endorphins that make you feel better after a good workout, also help you become more resilient when faced with mental and emotional challenges.

Going to the gym is fantastic, but don’t be afraid to try out something new like rock-climbing, sailing or paragliding. I have clients who love the outdoors whether hiking, running, cycling, swimming, golfing – and even some who have done 75 Hard and others who run marathons.

Sensory Bag

Engaging your senses helps relax your central nervous system and bring you into the present moment, which can help disrupt your cravings. Pack yourself a small to-go bag with a number of items that you know will engage your senses during moments of overwhelm (or when you feel a craving come on).

Items to consider:

• Lip balm or chapstick
• Favorite snacks or treats
• Mints / hard candies / gum
• Stress ball to occupy your hands
• Headphones to drown out annoyances
• Essential oil roller (apply directly to wrists)
• Soft gloves or hat, in colder months
• Drink tabs such as nuun, or herbal tea bags

Good Old Self-Care

Whether it's a massage, acupuncture, or a chiropractic adjustment, prioritizing time for our mental and physical well being helps build momentum in the right direction.

Try setting aside the money you would have spent on drugs/alcohol for a month and put it towards an appointment. You can also talk to your doctor to see if you qualify for medical massage or acupuncture through your insurance.

And if all that sounds too complicated, try some basic self-care at home, like a hot epsom salt bath (you can get epsom salt at most grocery stores these days) or a heat wrap for sore muscles and body aches.

Zeroproof Beverages

Stocking your fridge, car, and cooler with non-alcoholic beverages is no magic bullet, but making a point to have some enjoyable non-alcoholic beverages on hand at all times can certainly help in the early stages of sobriety.

If you still need or want to attend certain events that may have alcohol present, a great strategy is to bring your favorite or new favorite non-alcoholic beverage!

Flavored seltzer waters, topo chico and kombucha tend to be popular options. But if you’re looking for some more adventurous options, there are a growing number of companies catering to the sober movement with alcohol-free beverages of all kinds.

One thing to keep in mind about trying non-alcoholic beverages is that for some people some of these drinks can be a trigger, so you’ll need to assess what’s best for you on your journey.

• Sober Carpenter: Sober Carpenter is a Canadian microbrewery based in Montreal, Québec and specializes in brewing non-alcoholic beers…but not just any non-alcoholic beers! Real craft beers made with high quality ingredients, so flavourful you'll hardly believe they're alcohol-free. The brewery was created in 2019 by two Canadian brothers who have always been passionate about beers but wanted to reduce their alcohol consumption after starting their families. Unfortunately, they realized that the current offerings were very limited and not to the standards they expected in taste and mouthfeel after years of consuming craft beers… and just like that, Sober Carpenter was born.
  
  
• Seedlip: If you’re wanting to feel sophisticated with your alcohol-free beverage collection, this is the company for you. Their founder, Ben, spent two years perfecting the world’s first non-alcoholic spirit–combining his farming heritage, love of nature, and desire for more creative non-alcoholic drink options.
  
  
• The Elixir Lady: We believe that every choice matters. Choosing elixirs over caffeine, supplement popping or binge drinking gives you energy with none of the guilt. When we eat and drink well, we improve our physical, mental and emotional wellness and our ability to take on our life. Every day. Based in Vancouver, Canada.
  
  
• Blue Monkey Tropical: The Company was founded in 2009 by the husband and wife team of Simon and Mary-Jane Ginsberg – the pair behind the successful Ice Age Glacier water brand. Based in Vancouver, Canada. ​All of our coconut products and juices are 100% pure - not from concentrate, packed at the source, shelf stable without the use of added preservatives, additives, or sugar AND they are 100% vegan! (My favorite is the Watermelon Coconut Water.)

Online Recovery Coaching

Recovery coaching is the sober tool of all sober tools.

This is where you get to unpack the hard stuff, map out crystal clear plans, and talk through potential pitfalls. It’s also where you can move beyond cravings and learn how to anchor into some of the bigger motivators in life, like the dreams and aspirations that may have been pushed aside during your drinking/using days.

And, you don’t have to carve out time each week to travel anywhere because you can do recovery coaching all online now. Some coaches, including myself, even make themselves available via text or voice messaging for times when cravings pop-up and you need more urgent support.

Online Support Groups

There are plenty of online support groups to fit anyone's personal approach to changing their relationship to the use of substances. Here's a few below.

• Best for Buddhist practices: Recovery Dharma
• Best for pragmatic thinkers: Self-Management and Recovery Training
• Best for women: Women for Sobriety
• Best for accessibility: Alcoholics Anonymous
• Best for self-empowerment: LifeRing
• Best to supplement with face-to-face meetings: In The Rooms

Also, here is a great list of the Top 25 Sober Communities Beyond Traditional AA.

Find Yourself an Online Recovery Coach

It goes without saying — a Recovery Coach (Sober Coach) must have lived experience. One of the main reasons people want to work with me and my associates is we each have some kind of substance use history and successful recovery through a variety of approaches. Accredited and/or Certified Recovery Coach training at a minimum from a recognized company is essential and having a broad understanding and being open-minded to the various pathways to change and recovery is a must. Recovery Coaches that have work experience in various mental health and addiction facilities would be a great benefit as well as knowledge on how to navigate the various treatment systems (when needed) and can link clients to trusted medical and clinical professionals as needed.

Testimonials will speak volumes about the work a Recovery Coach is doing. A Recovery Coach should also have current professional liability insurance. Sober Coaching is an emerging resource in Canada and is imperative you are working with someone with integrity, has a good reputation and has your best interest in mind.

Get Help Creating Your Personal Roadmap

I’m an accredited Addiction Recovery Coach offering worldwide virtual support, and in-person support in some cities across Canada.

I also have a small exclusive team of experienced and well-trained female and male Recovery Coaches to draw from depending on your needs. If you’re interested in exploring 1:1 recovery coaching to help you cut back your drinking or stop drinking entirely, I’m happy to answer your questions. We likely have the sober tools you need to be successful in your journey.

I offer a no-charge consult call to anyone who has questions about their own substance use, or the substance use of a family member. These calls are completely confidential with no pressure to make a decision before you feel entirely ready.

If you’re ready to explore the potential of working together, I’d love to chat. Michael is based in Victoria British Columbia Canada. The other Recovery Coaches on the team are based in Nanaimo, Vancouver British Columbia Calgary, Edmonton Alberta, Toronto Ontario, Montreal Quebec, and Halifax, Nova Scotia. Because we all work virtually — we can work with anyone no matter what city, province or country around the world. We have clients all across Canada and the USA, Seattle, Los Angeles, Dallas, Miami, New York City, Denver, Nashville, Berlin, Tel Aviv, London, Singapore and Australia.

I’d also like to invite you to read more about my personal story here.

Phone or Text: 250.896.8494
Email: Coach@MichaelWalsh.com
Chat: Start a WhatsApp chat

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